Out with the old

Some weeks the blog is all ready to go. Sunday morning is a leisurely beating from the wife, then ‘click’ and it’s gone. Other weeks, it’s more of a frenzied typefest to get the thing done before the next beating.

Guess which one it is this week?

‘Ouch’ – late again.

Be Welcome Gentle Reader and read on.


Before we go any further, the new little cartoon character, Frank the Folkie, is joined this week by Flossie the Flautist, and together, they form a band. What might it be called I wonder?

Thanks to Acoustic Chum David Pratt for the suggestion to add Flossie to the cartoon family. David is a musician and plays the drums too. Talented man.


A quick update on all things FG before we get to the all-important drivel; this week a club South Shields (pics by the Wrinkly Wroadies of course) a good night there in a different, small and quite warm room – good evening though despite forgetting what a capo is and what it is supposed to do. A care home, lovely gig there, a summer fayre and a summner school at Van Mildert[1] College in Durham. That was great night too. Oh, and a ‘Stories with Strings Show’ at Lanchester Library too.

So there.



Could anyone, preferably someone who knows the answer tell me how this mysterious mechanism actually works?

Back in the day, there was MySpace, which was great, really useful, was easy to use and everyone got along just fine.

Then they improved it and everyone left.

Now there is Facebook.

I’m not sure I like Facebook, nor do I trust it; but is seems to be a necessary evil – full of misinformation, untruths, gossip, malingering pussy cats and trivial gossip.

But enough about our page.

There has always been, running alongside, but slightly further back in the mix, Reverbnation. For those not in the know, it’s a musicians social network, everyone gets a page and can enter gigs, pics, sound, profiles, messages etc etc etc.

So far, so what?
Well, it has charts too.

We are currently Number 4 in the Folk Chart for Durham. Hooray for us.

We have been Number 2 in the Folk Chart for Durham. Hooray for us.

And Number 17 in the Folk chart for Durham. Serves us right, probably.

Fine, but all in the same week?


There will be a mechanism, a logic, an algorithm for how all this wonderful nonsense works.

Trouble is, I think I know what it is.


We rarely use Reverbnation, unless they kindly remind us, and I tap something into the page. Then we go up a bit. I might upload a song. And we go up a bit more.

A few pics?


But, and as the Bishop said to the Actress, it’s a sizable butt, we also yo-yo merrily around the chart if we do nothing at all.

The bit that really make me raise a Roger Moore inspired eyebrow is that when one pursues the ‘free’ promotions which one has apparently ‘earned’, it turns out that it is, like a badly restored edition of Fireball XL5, strewn with obvious and visible strings. Enter all your data, claim your ‘free promotion’ and guess what?

<Enter your credit card details here>

I may look like I came down with the last shower, and leave an equally damp trail to the door of Silliland, but if it’s free…

Beware, as they say, of Greeks bearing gifts.

You didn’t know Reverbnation was Greek?

It may or may not be, but it’s all Greek to me.


There have been those of you, out there in Gentlereaderland, who have been worried.


Champing at the bit and generally loose about the bowel.

The cause?
It has all been quiet at our most favorite venue of them all, The King’s Head and Washerwoman’s Legs Folk Club[2].

Chairman Dave, rested and reinvigorated after his annual sojourn at Whitby[3], is back at the helm of the folk club, ready for a new season.

To save time, Dave has booked all the same guests as he did last year, most of whom he knows personally, and he is on financial terms with them all. This makes it much easier to organise the club, posters can be re-used, or even dispensed with altogether as most people can recite the guest list by heart. There was one year when Chairman Dave put on someone who played a guitar, but when everyone enjoyed listening to some new songs, he vowed never to make that mistake again.

So the new season beckons. Chairman Dave and the new committee, Big Nigel, Musty Sandra and Dorothy the Door[4], have decided in advance which nights everyone will enjoy, and to save time, which ones they will not.

They won’t come to those.

There will be theme nights at the KH&WLFC this year, songs about death will be the first theme, subsequent evenings themes will include Songs about death with a chorus, songs about death without a chorus but a bit you can hum, and songs that make you wish you were dead.

There will be open nights too. Make sure you arrive early and get your name on the list, it is best if you:

  1. Are related to a committee member
  2. buy Dave a drink
  3. have been attending the club for at least thirteen years.
  4. play melodeon and can name the classic lineup of Fairport.

And with that, I notice the word counter is heading for a lexical coronary and so, as the folk club of fate opens its doors for the new season and it’s out with the old and in with the… hang on, it looks like ‘old’, I notice it is the end of this blog.

Until next time Acoustic Chums,

Keep Strummin’



[1] I found out what a ‘Van Mildert’ actually is, and apparently as long as they are all over 21 and the fish are returned afterwards, it’s perfectly legal.

[2] Held every Thursday, in the back room, unless the Leek show is on. Get there early to get a seat, as there are only two.

[3] Dave likes to go the week after the Festival. That way it is much easier to complain about the quality of the acts.

[4] No. Not because she looks like one, it’s because for the last… ooooh how long…. Lemmee see…. Oh yes, four hundred and seventy years she has sat behind a table in the murky darkness of the club entrance and merrily mugged attendees. She is so good at it, that on walking in people find themselves suddenly clutching a handful of raffle tickets and wondering what happened to their trousers.


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