Don’t you just hate ‘em. Like queuing up for the annual disappointment at Fenwick’s window, or shouldering your way towards a lukewarm pie at a football match.

Gigs where the crowd pack the performers back into the backdrop and stare right into your eyes.

It’s the crush, the oppressive closeness of Brother Man, the press of the mutable and rank-scented many that puts you off.

Thankfully, we have a remedy to all this.

How so?

Be welcome Gentle Reader, and read on…

It will never be the purpose of this blog to obfuscate, conceal or mislead. Truth, in the pursuit of which we blindly rush, is the beacon by which we cast the darkness aside. So with that in mind, it is possible that we could not perhaps claim a huge audience at our recent excursion to The Millstone. Not that the venue can be blamed; the room is lovely and we set it all up well with chairs, tables, backdrop, lights and PA. We were slightly alarmed by the Landlord’s welcome: “why on earth did you choose a Wednesday?” but ploughed on nonetheless. The audience was very appreciative of our efforts; in fact they both said how much they enjoyed it.

itsAcoustica and FG were on hand to entertain, if not the masses, certainly the matins, and both bands put in a perfectly formed fist of songs. Andy and Catherine have some favourites that they seem to be slightly re-arranging; indeed Andy always re-arranges one of his guitar intros.

FG was on a slightly different tack on that evening. The bass player and singer were hale, hearty and displaying a certain rudeness of health to the assembled few, but the guitar player and star of the show[1] was suffering from a severe bout of pneumo-cardio-physco-fatality-itis which rendered his voice virtually kaput for the entire evening. The sadness of the audience at being deprived the missing dulcet tones was unapparent, and naturally Diva and Nugget carried the show without the encumbermence of my singing.

It is roughly 846.714%[2] more difficult to perform to an empty room than it is to a hall full of appreciative, happy faces, ready to sing along to all of ones hits, laugh at the intros and clap along.

I imagine.

Talking of introductions, witnessing the arrival of a Higgins joke is always such a pleasure. The occasion gives the audience a chance to play at Air Traffic Controllers – not that high definition radar is generally required to spot an inbound zeppelin – as we spot the approach of the punch line from afar, it serenely sails down an ironclad glide path to land heavily at our feet, exactly where we expected it to. It must be said that Andy has recently been ferreting about the deeper galleries of the Nutty Slack Gag Mine, but he has promised that next time he goes down; he’ll turn the light on.[3]

Among the audience on Wednesday was FG Acoustic Chum ‘Turkish’ Chris Milner. It’s always a pleasure to see old Turkish, either as a performer or as in this case, as 50% of the audience. Globetrotting Chris has recently returned from a tour of High Germany, where, as part of a cultural mission, he entertained the Masses of Munich, the Burghers of Baden and some folks from Fusselhöf, and managed on his return to extend his global domination by landing a tour to the land of Johnny Turk. We are delighted to reveal in the pages of this blog, that Chris will soon be found amongst the Hookahs[4] and Samovars of old Constantinople, laying down some Yorkshire wisdom and expanding the mind of the Ottoman with his songs. Excellent – well done, Turkish.

This week saw your favourite prog-folk (would be) megastar in convalescent mode (otherwise, being lazy) and so music news is slight.

Apart from…

We were ‘featured artist’ on Radio Tircoed in Welsh Wales this week where Stuart and Andy played a number of slightly compressed versions of our songs – nice to feel that the worthy citizens of Swansea are exposed to some folk-prog kultcha. Thanks to the boys for featuring us!

The studio continues to develop and several of you have listened to our Soundcloud intro (which I’ve already decided to re-do) for our new magnum opus “The Ballad of Sam Coles”. If the old cold goes away, there may be more on the developing project. A rough acoustic take will be next, then the old reconstruct from the ground up process.

Same Coles?

Same Coles as he may have been

Hope to see some of you next weekend (sat dec 3) at Richmonf and Swaledale FC where FG will be supporting Marie Little – sgould be a great evening.

When there’s nowt left to say, the best thing to do is say nowt.

So, as the sunbeam of destiny sets over the yardarm of fate and the seagull of eternal hope drops down his ray-bans, I notice it’s the end of this blog.

Until next time, Acoustic Chums,

Keep Strummin’


[1] At least in his head

[2] roughly

[3] Oh I suppose I’d better put in a rider at this point or someone will think I mean it…

[4] No; the other sort.


One thought on “Crowds

  1. 1 minute and 12 seconds of intro? some songs last less time. And, and I recognise the intro of the intro, but can’t put finger to ear and say it’s, blah de blah. But I bet you know and Andy will too.
    Anyway, strange blog as usual. Keep it up mate.

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