News from A Dutch Uncle

The Eagle Eyed amongst you (and let’s face it folks, that’s most of you apart from that audience in Scarborough…) will have fettled the fact that this blog has been, for me, extraordinarily quiet. So much so, in fact, that I have received a rebate from the Bank of Commas, and my membership (hon) of the Subordinate Clause Society has been, temporarily, suspended.

There will be reasons for this most particular silence.

Is it charity; charity in respect of the battering of the English Language, charity out of respect for you, Gentle Reader, in your long and pained sufferance, or perchance charity because of an imminent and all consuming cleansing conflagration: a Charity of Fire, so to speak?[1]

All of the above, with the notable exception of any of them, may, of course, hide truth within. Although this is highly unlikely, in order to assuage any lingering doubt, there remains but one simple recourse…

Welcome, Gentle Reader, and read on.


We are, as you will have gathered back with a bang.

Refreshed by a summer break – in the sense that we are shattered – you know the feeling I’m sure; we have risen, triumphant, or at least sleepily, from our adventures, which I intend now to regale to the masses.

You can’t say you weren’t warned.[2]

Most people now know that Poorly Parent Problems #1 resolved inevitably, and PPP#2 seem to be on the up, so with a renewed vigour[3] we hit what was left of the summer.

The highlight was of course our trip to Dutch Holland. I cannot express enough our gratitude to Hanno and Anne who got us gigs, put us up and put up with us. We played three shows, the strangest being in a museum of Chemists’ shops (really, so many types of Brylcreem), the others being in Uffelte and in Maarssen. Most of you will have some vague idea of an FG show,
but we did try ‘specially ‘ard. All shows were completely acoustic – a stipulation that we really enjoyed. No PA, FX, Mics Mixers, Mice ans Sans Soundmen. The Amphitheatre show was wazzed off, so we played in a converted barn building- nice. We treated (not in the medical sense) the audiences to the big FG numbers and were initially disconcerted by the very concentrated faces until we figured out that my songs, like my blogs, scatter syllables severally, mix metaphors madly, and are generally grammatically Gordian. They were following the stories intently, bless ‘em.

However, we also noticed that, given a smidge of a chance, yer actual Dutch audience will bellow along lustily, given the merest hint of a tutorial before the song.

So we did that a lot.

We went down well, left with a referral to a Dutch Agent, a promise of a return next year, a booking in the Hook, Harwich and a festival for next year. A few CD’s and songbooks sold, all in all, we had a grand, and successful visit.


Back for a week, we had but little time for recuperation.
Organising a new gig at The Green Tree in Tudhoe took some doing, but holds the prospect of not just a gig (confirmed, see website for details) but also a day festival next year, to be held in the most excellent gardens of the pub. Tudhoe, not known in the guide books as a halcyon refuge from life’s storms, is, oddly, a halcyon refuge from life’s storms, if one ventures but a footfall beyond the Front Street.

Who Knew?

This week sees the start of our CD launch programme, for the hard of email reading, non-facebookies, casual blog readers and strolling vagabond minstrels, they are:


Friday 9th September

The Station Hotel Loftus

(Ian Swinburne, The Mighty Stormcrow)

Saturday 17th September

The Bridge Hotel Newcastle

(Julie, jiva)

Saturday 8th October

The Lamplight Centre Stanley

(Chris Kelly, Julie)


All dates are free, despite the pub listings rumouring au-contraire. 8.00pm kick off. Ish.

If you’d like to come along, please do. There are even some good folks playing.

Not the longest blog, but y’bugger, it’s a belter!

And so as the fateful festival follower of fate encounters the calamitous cloudburst of cats’n’dogs, and rues the absence of the pacamac of pleasure, I notice it’s the end of this blog.

So until next time Acoustic Chums,

Keep Strummin’

[1] It would make a good movie. Look, it’s the only hint you’re going to get.

[2] You could, but it wouldn’t hold up in court.

[3] The old one was a 1600 V Reg and had seen better days


2 thoughts on “News from A Dutch Uncle

  1. Hello me Hearties,
    Good to know ye be aback in yer home port again We’d be looking forrard to seeing you a venue near ye olde Tyne Bridge soon or maybe sooner if ye be coming to give those Luce Women a wave and clap when they be at’t very same porthole the very next Monday (12th) that’s comes up on yer manifest!
    Shiver me timbers laads (and fair maiden) don’t be a missing them Luce Women! They sure do play some good olde music sing many a few good songs!!! all the hearties that don’t appear will be walking the plank at the next Port o’ Call – Be warned
    Your friend and shipmate the Captain’s dog (Jonah)

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